The Meeting
by Farm-Mom
Summary: Explores another possibility for Blue being an only child. Curious? Read on.
1. Chapter 1

The Meeting - Chapter 1

"Billy?"

The young rancher had been on his way to the saloon for a cold drink when he turned to see who had spoken his name and noticed an oddly dressed man on the hotel steps. His clothing was stylish city fabric, not the dust-covered leather and heavy cotton worn by the cow punchers who normally walked the hot streets of Tucson. His clean, fine suit marked him as a man who was not poor – and probably not from Tucson. Billy was a common name and Blue figured the man must be calling to another Billy, so he started walking again. Besides, most folks around Tucson knew him as Blue. He hadn't been called Billy for quite a while. His mother was the last one to use his given name, but she died not long after they settled on High Chaparral.

The stranger tried again. "Billy Cannon?"

The last five miles of his trip had been hot and tiring, and a cold beer had been his most pressing need, but it would just have to wait until he found out who this man was and why he was calling his name. He turned back to face the stranger. "Yeah, Mister?"

The stranger left the steps of the hotel and approached him with a wide smile and reached out to shake hands. "I just knew that had to be you! It's great to finally see you again after all these years. How are you?"

Blue shook the offered hand and focused on the man's face. While he seemed vaguely familiar, no name came to mind. With the man standing so close, Blue could see that he was about Blue's height and carried a few more pounds. He smelled of something much sweeter than horseflesh and leather – it was even better than the stuff the barber used on him after a shave. His small-brimmed hat didn't cover his head very well so Blue could see that his hair was light brown and his eyes were blue. He guessed his age to be about the same as Uncle Buck's. "Do I know you, Mister?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. How rude of me. My name is Jasper Daniels. Annalee and I grew up together and were very good friends. You and I actually met when you were just a little boy, so you probably wouldn't remember me."

Blue's confusion was turning to curiosity at the mention of Anna Lee and he concentrated even harder on the man's face. "You knew my mother?"

Realizing that they were still standing in the street, the stranger suggested that they go into the hotel and have dinner together where it was cooler. He wasn't used to the heat of the afternoon desert. Blue quickly agreed for curiosity's sake and for the sake of his stomach, which hadn't had anything but some jerky since breakfast, and he could still use that cold drink. Pa sent him to Tucson to wait for a telegram that would bring news that everyone on the ranch was waiting for, but a late start had delayed his arrival until late afternoon. Pa always had just one more thing for Blue to do before he could leave, then he yelled about how late it was getting and Blue hadn't left yet. Blue figured he couldn't win with Pa, so he seldom argued with him. Pa saw it as weakness, but Blue considered it self-preservation. With any luck, the telegram would take a few days and Blue could spend some time in Tucson before heading back to the High Chaparral with the news. Not that Tucson was an exciting place, but he got to rest and relax a little when he was out from under Pa's thumb.


	2. Chapter 2

The Meeting - Chapter 2

As they walked toward the hotel, Blue removed his hat and slapped it against his leg to remove as much dust as he could. A layer of dust from his pant leg joined the dust beaten off his hat; forming a cloud that blended in with the cloud of dust kicked up by their boots on the dirty street. Blue didn't have much time to admire the swirl of dirt swirling around his boots because his empty belly and plain old curiosity were leading him in the direction the stranger was going.

The hotel was cool and inviting. Blue excused himself long enough to visit the wash stand and wash his face and hands to remove as much dirt as he could, then he rejoined his new acquaintance. A matronly lady served their food with cool glasses of water and hot coffee. The steak and potatoes filled the empty spot in Blue's stomach and the coffee was almost as good as Victoria's. When the man ordered each of them a slice of apple pie, Blue thought he'd ridden right into heaven today. They ate their dinner and chatted like old friends. Blue told him about High Chaparral and the night that Annalee was killed and Mr. Daniels spoke of his life in Boston. As Blue dug into the pie, he realized that Mr. Daniels was watching him. He quickly apologized for not using the manners that his mother had taught him. Mr. Daniels laughed. "It's alright son. You must be hungry after the trip to town today. Please enjoy the pie. It's not as good as Annalee's apple pie, but it's pretty good anyway. I apologize for staring, but you remind me of her you know."

Blue felt his cheeks grow warm and knew he must be blushing. He sheepishly replied that lots of people tell him he resembles his mother. He made his best effort to change the topic. "So, what do you do Mr. Daniels? What are you doin' in Tucson?"

"I'm an artist and illustrator, and my editor suggested that I come out here to get some ideas for a new book that I am working on. I welcomed the opportunity because I've wanted to try to find you for a while now. Do you draw, Billy?" Blue was surprised at the question, so he took a moment to think before he answered. He had brought his sketch pad and pencils with him to keep him busy while he waited for the telegram, but he never really discussed his drawings with anybody. Pa just didn't understand why he would waste his time on drawing. Heck, Blue didn't understand it, other than he knew it made him happy. "Nothin' special, just pictures of things I see on the ranch mostly. They ain't very good." He should have asked his new acquaintance to call him Blue, but the name Billy just sounded right coming from Ma's friend.

Blue's surprised expression at the question about his drawings hadn't gone unnoticed by the man who felt the need to explain, "Annalee was very artistic. I hoped that you got some of her talent. I bet she taught you to draw."

Blue liked this man. He could certainly see why Ma liked him. He had kind eyes a shade darker blue than Blue's and spoke about Ma as if she were very special. He wondered if they were more than friends, but knew he shouldn't pry. "Ma did like to draw, and she used to show me pictures she sketched. I have one picture she drew of Pa and me fishing at the creek that ran by our cabin when we lived in Kansas. I kept it even when Pa wanted us to leave behind everything that wasn't necessary. I hid it in my saddlebags with my paper tablet. Only Ma knew it was there. She also made some sketches of High Chaparral that I kept." It had been a while since Blue talked about Ma to someone and it made him happy to share the memories with this man who seemed to know her so well. Blue and Ma only had each other when Pa was away earning a living as a soldier or lawman; and they'd been each other's support over the years Pa and Uncle Buck had been on opposite sides of the civil war that left very few Americans untouched. He missed her very much.

Jasper Daniels asked about John and Buck and how the family ended up out here. Blue replied that the trip to Arizona had been hard, but an adventure. He had learned a lot from his father and uncle. He had learned a lot about them too. "Uncle Buck likes to fight while Pa likes to settle things more peacefully. Sometimes they fight each other before they decide what they're gonna' do. Pa wanted to come farther west for a while, then after the war he got more determined to move. Uncle Buck has what Ma called an adventurous spirit and is always ready to pick up and go. Ma didn't really want to move, but she wouldn't stay behind. She said she had to go where Pa did."

"It sounds like John and Buck haven't changed a bit, always bickering but always protecting each other too. Did I forget to tell you that John and I are cousins? His mother and my mother were sisters. That would make you and me cousins too. When the rest of the family went west, John's father was determined to stay in Virginia. When Uncle William passed on, John and Buck came to Kansas to be near family for a while. John was an army officer and was able to get a post in Kansas so Buck stayed with us for a while. That's where John met Annalee." Blue heard a bit of sadness in the last sentence.

"Pa never told me how he met Ma. He doesn't talk much about the past." Blue fingered the blue-checked tablecloth and tried to remember exactly what Ma had told him about meeting Pa. "Ma talked about it some, but I think I was too young to understand most of it."

"Well, Billy, I wouldn't want to give away family secrets, but since you're family, I don't see why you shouldn't hear the whole story." Jasper looked at the blue eyes that gazed into his own and noticed that Blue definitely had his mother's eyes. He picked up the glass of water and took a sip to wet a throat that suddenly was too dry for speaking. Looking around, he realized that the restaurant was getting busy with dinner guests. "Why don't we go to my room to finish this conversation? We can take along another slice of pie and a cup of coffee." Blue readily agreed and the waitress was summoned to bring more pie and coffee. Blue didn't need much encouragement to talk with this man. He found that he enjoyed his company and wanted to know more about him. Mr. Daniels paid the bill and they picked up their dessert and coffee and climbed the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

The Meeting - Chapter 3

Mr. Daniels' room was the best the hotel had. A bedroom opened off of the large sitting room that had a couch and a table and a couple of chairs. This was a much different type of room than the single room with a bed that Blue would likely be staying in at the boarding house. Blue set his coffee and pie down on the small table and walked to the large window where he could see down the street both directions. They were high enough off the street to not be bothered by the dust that was constantly kicked up by passing horses. "Mr. Daniels, what kind of pictures did you say you draw? They must be pretty special to afford things like this." Realizing that his question was rude, he crossed the room to stand next to the table where Mr. Daniels had also just set his coffee and pie and offered an apology. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask questions like that. Pa says I speak before I think sometimes."

Mr. Daniels laughed, "It's alright. I don't mind your asking questions, as long as I can ask you some too." At the young man's smile and nod, he continued, "I happen to be very proud of my work and the things I can buy because of that work, just as John is likely proud of the ranch that he possesses. To answer your question; I work for a publishing company that uses my drawings in books to illustrate stories and create guide books for people moving west. I also have some paintings that have sold to wealthy people who love fine things. I make a very comfortable living; however, the things I'm most proud of would be my daughters. I have three very lovely girls who remind me of their beautiful mother. Would you like to see their pictures?"

Blue was impressed with Mr. Daniels and wanted to know more about him. He wondered if Ma knew what had become of him. There were a million questions he wanted to ask, but for now he might find out something by looking at pictures. Sitting down at the table, Blue responded, "Sure, I'd like to see the pictures. Did you draw 'em"?

With a kind smile, the man told him that the photographs had been taken at a studio in Boston. He withdrew them from the desk under the window and brought them to the table. He sat in a chair next to Blue and passed the pictures to him one at a time. "This is Alyssa, my eldest. She just turned 18. She has had suitors and proposals, but has not accepted any as of yet but I'm sure it won't be long." Blue was looking at a beautiful young woman who had light hair and eyes, and was only a few years younger than himself. He could easily see why she had young men calling on her. Mr Daniels continued, "My middle daughter is 15 and loves horses. Her name is Tressie. So far, she has discouraged potential suitors, but I'm sure it won't last long either." Laying down the first picture, Blue took the second one. This girl had darker hair and light eyes, but the same small features. "And, my youngest is Delia. She is 10 and reminds me daily that she isn't a baby anymore." Blue took the photograph and looked into the light eyes of a young girl who appeared to be full of mischief. Her dark curly hair was pulled back from her face by a light colored ribbon. "And this is my wife, Betsy. She wanted to come out here with me, but I thought the trip would be too much for the ladies in my life. Besides, I thought I'd get more work done if I had fewer distractions." Blue put the other pictures on the table and took the last photo from Mr. Daniels and found that Mrs. Daniels was a pretty lady with delicate features and dark hair.

"You have a nice family, Mr. Daniels. It's a shame you had to leave them to come all the way out here." He handed Mr Daniels back the pictures.

"Please, call me Jasper. As I said, I also came out here to see you. I wanted to meet the son Annalee spoke so highly of. I know you were very special to her and the letters she sent me made me want to meet you. There were times when the letters were few and far between, but when the letters stopped completely, I knew something had happened to her. My cousin in Kansas wrote me as soon as she heard the news and I had to come out at the first opportunity. I'm only sorry it took so long."

Blue was a little surprised to hear that Ma was writing to Mr. Daniels and wondered what Pa thought of it, or if he even knew. While they lived in Kansas, it wouldn't be hard for Ma to mail a letter without Pa knowing about it, because Pa was gone a lot, but Blue wondered how she kept Pa from seeing the letters from Mr. Daniels. MaybePa knew Ma was getting letters from Mr. Daniels, but he doubted that. Blue had lots of questions, but one in particular had waited as long as it could, "So, how well did you know my mother?"

Jasper smiled at the question and his face softened as he thought about her. "Well, Billy, as I said, we grew up together. I think I fell in love with her pretty blue eyes and sweet smile when we were about ten years old. We were friends from the time we met as small children, but something changed that year and we saw each other in a very different way. When she turned fifteen, I asked her to marry me and she said 'yes'. Jasper's eyes became misty at the memories of the two of them walking to church with their families, and taking walks without their families. She wore her hair in braids in childhood and pulled back from her pretty face as she became a lovely young woman. The memories turned less happy after John arrived in Kansas.

Blue couldn't hide his shock. "You were gonna' marry Ma? Why didn't you get married? Why did she marry Pa?"


	4. Chapter 4

The Meeting - Chapter 4

The shaking of the table as Blue jumped up from his chair drew Jasper back to the present and the excited young man now standing at his side. He laughed at the confusion on Blue's face and stood to place a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder. "I'll answer your questions, but you have to let me get the story out." Blue sat back down and waited while Mr. Daniels began to pace as he spoke. "Yes, your mother and I were going to be married, but we had to wait until I could support us and provide a place for us to live. Now, I wasn't the best farmer around. I much preferred reading, drawing, and painting, but there just wasn't a way to survive on that in Kansas at the time. So, I worked on learning to farm and earn my own homestead so that we could be married."

Jasper could see Blue absorbing every word as he sat there forgetting to sip on his coffee, which was likely to get cold before he remembered it was there. "Five years later, I was still trying to earn the money we needed for that homestead. During those five years, Annalee's mother had taken ill and Annalee spent most of her time taking care of her parents and sister. And then John and Buck arrived in Kansas. John was a young army officer and was assigned to the fort while Buck stayed with us. I could tell Annalee was smitten with John and that he liked her. I was certain that I could trust them. Annalee took our engagement seriously. John was a dedicated officer and really didn't have time for much besides work." He heard Blue give a snort of agreement at that statement and looked over at the boy. He really does have Annalee's expressive eyes, he thought. They always gave her away. That was how he knew she was in love with John. It was easy to see how she felt. Right now, Blue's eyes were expressing a deep sadness.

Blue wondered what it might have been like to have Jasper Daniels for a father instead of John Cannon. Would Jasper talk about a son the way he talked about his daughters? How would Blue's life be different if Ma had married Jasper? He loved High Chaparral and his Pa and Uncle Buck, but sometimes it seemed like the effort to please Pa was just too much. He always said and did the wrong things and made Pa mad. When he realized that Jasper had stopped talking and was staring at him, he prompted him for more of the story. "So, why did Ma marry Pa instead of you?

Jasper smiled at Blue, who was sitting at the edge of his chair waiting for more of the story. "A good question. When I realized that I really wasn't a farmer, I opted to go east and try to make a living with my drawings. Of course, everyone thought I was crazy, except Annalee. She didn't laugh, but I could tell she was reluctant to take the chance with me. We decided that I would go back east and set up my new life, then call for her to join me later. I hadn't been gone six months when I got the letter I expected from Annalee saying that she was going to marry John. I know that she loved John and that it was for the best because I still wasn't able to support a family, but I deeply regretted losing her like that."

Jasper became quiet and Blue noticed that it was getting dark outside. He still needed to find a place to sleep for the night. It was plenty late to get a room, so he'd probably end up sleeping in the livery near his horse, Soapy. He really didn't mind because he'd slept in worse places. Standing up, he said, "Jasper, it's been nice talkin' to ya', but I need to be goin'. I haven't arranged a place to sleep yet. Thank you for supper and the pie. Could I stop back in tomorrow and talk some more? I really wanna' hear more about Ma and you."

Jasper made a sweeping gesture with his hands and pointed at the sofa. "There's plenty of room here, Billy. Why don't you stay and sleep on my couch?"

"I don't want to put you out. I'll find someplace to bed down." Blue remembered all the times that Pa warned him against accepting help when it wasn't needed. He called it begging. A real man stands on his own feet.

"It's silly for you to wander out tonight. I've learned that it gets cold at night in Tucson. You would rest better here in case you have to ride back to High Chaparral tomorrow and we can talk again in the morning. Besides, Tucson isn't exactly a peaceful town. I've heard of two shootouts and several robberies in the four days I've been here. It would make me sleep much better if you tell me you know how to use the gun you carry."

Blue was finally persuaded and sat back down to finish his coffee. Flashing his best smile, blue replied, "Thanks. I can sure see why Ma liked you."

This made Jasper happy and he smiled at Blue. "Well, thank you Billy. I am glad you approve of me." He stood and gestured toward the bedroom. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go into my room and get some sleep. Feel free to use the wash basin to clean up. We can continue our discussion over breakfast in the morning. Sleep well."

"Good night Mister….uh… Jasper." As Jasper closed the bedroom door, Blue searched his memory for any mention his mother might have made of Jasper Daniels, and realized that he had never heard Jasper's name from either Ma or Pa. He walked to the washstand and poured water into the basin, then removed his shirt and washed away the rest of the desert dirt. He lay down with a busy mind trying to figure out why Jasper would come all this way to meet him.


	5. Chapter 5

_I want to thank those readers who have reviewed the chapters. All critiques are welcome. I'm always looking for ways to improve. And now, chapter 5... _

The Meeting - Chapter 5

Jasper slept well until a strange sound awoke him. When he heard it again, he realized that the sound was someone crying out in their sleep. He arose and went to see what was wrong. Stepping into the moonlit sitting room, he saw Blue sitting hunched over, holding his head in his hands, taking short breaths and sniffling as if he were upset. He hesitated for fear of interrupting a private moment, but then considered that Blue might be in pain or have been truly upset. His concern won out and he cleared his throat before approaching so as not to scare Blue, and asked gently if he was alright. Blue quickly wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and replied in a hoarse voice that he must have had a nightmare and that he had them occasionally since their move to Arizona. His many adventures had obviously left both visible and invisible scars. Jasper asked him if he wanted to talk about it, but Blue replied that it was just a dumb dream and he would get over it. Jasper said good night again and went back to his bed, but was no more able to sleep than Blue was. He heard him pace the floor for several hours before settling back down to a fitful slumber. Jasper could only imagine what horrors could disturb a young man so much.

The next morning, neither man mentioned the night's disturbance. Blue had gone out early and retrieved his saddle bag from the livery so that he had his razor and clean shirt. They washed and went to breakfast without speaking much beyond polite conversation. After breakfast, Blue showed Jasper around town. Jasper took his sketchpad and made several drawings. He offered the pad to Blue, but Blue refused, saying that his drawings would look childlike next to Jasper's. "I would love to see your drawings Billy. I hope that you would feel comfortable showing them to me. Maybe I could help you develop them more."

"Thanks Jasper, but I try to keep my drawings private. Pa thinks they're a waste of time and paper and I don't want to make him mad at me. I only draw when I'm alone and I don't show them to anybody."

Finding themselves back at the hotel, Jasper wanted to go inside for a cold drink. The sun warms the desert quickly and the temperature was getting uncomfortable for an easterner who was used to a much cooler climate. Blue agreed that a cold drink would be just the thing and readily accompanied Jasper back inside. They went back to Jasper's room where a fresh pitcher of water had recently been placed. Jasper offered a glass to Blue first, then filled one for himself. "Billy, I want you to think seriously about your drawing. What did Annalee say about them?"

Blue thought about how Ma was so proud of his drawings. She claimed that Blue would be a famous artist someday. Blue was happy when Ma praised his efforts, but Pa told him to grow up and leave such childish play behind. Drawing made him happy but just a little bit guilty when he stole time away to draw. He wondered how something could make him feel pleasure and shame at the same time. "Ma liked 'em. She wanted me to draw more."

Jasper was confused. "Why didn't you?"

"Jasper, Pa doesn't like it. He says it's childish."

"Oh, I see. I suppose John doesn't know that I make a very nice living at this child's play. Promise me you'll keep on drawing and that you'll show them to me."

How could Blue turn down such a small request from a man who seemed truly interested? "Jasper? Why are you so worried about whether or not I can draw pictures?"

"Well, I have to confess that Annalee bragged just a little bit about your talent. I wanted to see it for myself. Mothers can be a bit biased you know. Say that you'll show me. Please?"

It made Blue feel good to know that this man was so concerned for him. "Alright, if you promise to visit High Chaparral, I'll show you my drawings; but don't expect too much. I'm sure I never drew anything that comes close to what you can do."

Jasper haltingly agreed, but expressed his doubts that John would agree. "Billy, I don't think John or Buck would want to see me. Our last meeting didn't go so well. As a matter of fact, John told me he never wanted to see me again. I doubt much has changed."

Blue thought about how John might get angry at him for bringing Jasper to High Chaparral, but then figured it was his home too. He should be able to invite a relative there if he wanted to. "Jasper, I'm invitin' you to High Chaparral. Even if Pa don't like it, I think Victoria would like the company. If you come to the ranch, I'll show you how I draw.

The next morning, the telegram came and Blue had to get back to High Chaparral. Blue had managed to convince Jasper to accompany him home. Their visit had been good for both of them and Jasper looked forward to spending more time with the young man who'd won his respect. He decided it wasn't just because he was Annalee's son, but if he'd met this young man on the trail, he would have liked him immediately. He found him to be kind and trusting. He could tell when he'd accompanied him to the livery to check on his horse that he was genuinely caring about animals and about other people. He introduced Jasper to the livery workers as if they were his friends. You would never be able to tell that this young man was the son of one of the most respected ranchers in the territory. He'd heard the stories of respect and admiration for John Cannon since he'd been here. Everybody knew of him and the High Chaparral.

Jasper rented a buggy for the trip to the ranch and Blue tied Soapy to the back and sat beside Jasper on the buggy seat. The trip home was somewhat quiet at times and gave Blue time to reflect on all he'd learned from Jasper and how much he missed Ma. Ma was always proud of Blue even when he might have done something that he shouldn't. She would tell him that if he learned something, it was worth the trouble he got into. He wondered what her reaction would have been to Jasper coming to Tucson. Then it dawned on him that it was Pa's reaction that he should be wondering about. Blue was bringing home Ma's first boyfriend.


	6. Chapter 6

The Meeting - Chapter 6

Blue and Jasper had been riding for a while when he stopped for water at a small outcropping of rocks near the High Chaparral border. He absent-mindedly patted Soapy's face while the horse drank water from the small spring and he pondered what it would be like if Ma had married Jasper. He would have grown up in Boston and learned to be proud of his art. He might even have brothers or sisters. Jasper treated him like he was a friend. Pa treated him like the other ranch hands, only worse.

Then Blue's thoughts turned to Pa. He was different before he went to war. He hugged Blue and told Ma that he loved her. Blue could remember Pa taking him fishing in the creek that crossed their farm in Kansas. Sometimes when Blue was sick, Pa would take care of him for a while so Ma could sleep. They would rock in the big chair near the fireplace. Blue liked to rest his head against Pa's big chest and hear his heart beating. When Pa would talk, his chest growled like a big bear. Blue would go to sleep dreaming about Pa and him hunting a bear together and not being scared.

Jasper walked about while Blue made sure the horses had water. He was not looking forward to seeing John again. If Big John Cannon knew all of the secrets that Jasper kept, Jasper would probably be shot on sight. Well, he'd just have to be as cordial as he could and hope that John's temper had cooled down over the years. But, if Blue's impression was accurate, he might really be in trouble this time. Well, there was always the return to Tucson if John wasn't in a mood to receive him. Blue had finished watering the horses and announced that everyone was ready to go. Jasper shook away the unhappy thoughts and smiled at Blue. They continued toward High Chaparral knowing that John Cannon might not be happy to know that Jasper Daniels was in Tucson, let alone coming to the ranch.

Jasper's rented buggy attracted attention at High Chaparral immediately. Most of the hands were relieved to note that it wasn't Victoria's father, Don Sebastian Montoya, paying them a visit. The alliance had brought a peace of sorts but having Don Sebastian on the ranch was a bit disturbing in itself. The old man had a way of making himself at home, while making others very uncomfortable. John was curious about the buggy's occupants, especially when he realized that Blue was one of them. The other rider seemed familiar but he couldn't quite place the man. As the buggy stopped at the hitching post by the front of the ranch house, everyone who was nearby came to get a look at the stranger that Blue had brought home. Jasper allowed Blue to introduce him to a few of the hands and couldn't help noticing the mixture of emotions on John's face, ending with recognition and acceptance. Reaching out a long arm to shake hands, John spoke first, "Jasper, this is a surprise! It's been years!" John put out his left hand in a gesture toward the people next to him and introduced Victoria, Mano, and the rest of the ranch crew.

"John, it's nice to see you again and to meet your crew. You look as if this life agrees with you." He removed his hat and turned to Victoria, "Billy didn't tell me that your new wife was so beautiful."

Victoria, always the lady, accepted the compliment with an offer of coffee inside the house where it was cooler. Blue and Buck excused themselves to see to the horses, while John, Victoria and Jasper watched them from the porch. John reached down and picked up the bags that Blue had left on the porch and they went into the house. John was glad that the trouble between him and his cousin appeared to be in the past for Jasper as it was for him. Annalee was gone and there was no sense carrying on a family feud that was started over her. She had made her choice and that was that. John wondered if he would be so forgiving if he had been the loser in that battle.

When John came out of his thoughts, Jasper was answering Victoria's question about how he was doing in Boston. "Yes, I'm quite well established in Boston. As a matter of fact, I'm here looking for new subjects to paint and use for book illustrations. My publisher wants people in the east to see more of the west. Any ideas of where I could start?" Jasper was proud of his success and didn't miss the chagrin that appeared on his cousin's face when he mentioned it. "I heard you have one of the biggest ranches in Arizona. Seeing the ranch, I can believe it. Billy showed me the border quite some distance from the house."

The look on John's face turned to pride. "Well, I'm not sure High Chaparral is the biggest spread, but it's big enough for now. I'll try to make sure you get a full tour while you're here."

"I hope Billy can show me around. I very much enjoy his company. He's a fine young man."

John wondered at the use of Blue's given name but figured Jasper had a reason to use it. "Yes, I think that could be arranged. Let me show you to a room. It's not as fancy as the hotel, but it should be comfortable. It's right next to Blue's room. Buck can move to the bunkhouse for now." The two men had walked up the steps and into the hallway.

"I don't want to put Buck out. I could have slept in another room."

John opened the door to Buck's room and motioned for Jasper to enter. "It's not a problem. Buck often plays cards with the hands until the wee hours then drags himself back into the house. This way, he can just sleep out there. He'll probably get more rest that way anyhow." John put Jasper's bags on the bed and stepped toward the window.

"Thank you John. I hope we can get re-acquainted while I'm here. The older I get, the more I realize how important family is."

John motioned to the pitcher and wash bowl on the stand in the corner and told Jasper, "Yes, I think family is important too. There is fresh water here if you want to wash some of the dust off. Rest some if you want to. Come downstairs when you're ready and we'll try to catch up."

Jasper replied that he would be down as soon as he was washed and watched John close the door. Looking around the room, he guessed that Victoria had cleaned it. He couldn't imagine that Buck was as neat as the room would indicate. The dark four-poster bed was free of dust and had clean white sheets and a thick quilt. He was certain that he would enjoy his visit. The more he could learn about Billy, the happier his visit would be.

He poured water into the wash basin and used the wash cloth to clean off the trail dust, put on a clean shirt, then put away the rest of his belongings. As he moved toward the stairs another thought struck him. This house is where his beautiful Annalee died. With a bit of sadness marring his excitement, he walked down the stairs to join the others in the parlor.

_Come on, review this chapter. I know you want to. _


	7. Chapter 7

The Meeting - Chapter 7

Buck sang one of his little ditties, which always sounded like 'Buffalo Gals', as he unhitched the rented horses from the buggy. Blue led Soapy to the corral, wound the reins around a rail, then removed the saddle and hung it up on the corral fence. He started brushing Soapy with long comforting strokes and smiled to himself at the familiar sound of his uncle's voice. What would he do without Uncle Buck? He'd always been there for as long as Blue could remember, tending to his scrapes, bruises, and hurt feelings. He was shaken from his thoughts when he realized that Uncle Buck was no longer singing. "Did you say somethin' Uncle Buck?"

"Blue, I asked why did you bring Jasper here for? Didn't you know John don't like him?"

"Yeah, Jasper told me why Pa don't like him. I think he's a nice fella'. And, he's family too. Why don't you like him?"

"Blue Boy, your Pa and Jasper was ready to kill each other over your Ma. That ain't an easy thing for a man to jist lay aside. They might just kill each other still. You know I'd hafta' side with Big John on this one. Ain't no reason her old boyfriend should visit, cousin or no."

Blue smiled at Uncle Buck's candor. He sure had a way of putting things in a simple perspective. He stopped brushing, loosened and removed the bridle, and touched Soapy's rump to send the horse into the corral with the rented buggy horses. Closing the gate, he turned to his uncle. "Uncle Buck, I think I'd like to visit with Jasper a while. MaybePa will understand."

"Well, alright Blue Boy. It's your funeral when Big John gets tired of visitin' and wants Jasper out." He patted Blue on the shoulder as he walked away.

Blue followed Buck away from the corral wondering if his uncle might be right about Pa being that mad. He didn't appear to be mad yet but Pa had a way of blowing up on a person. But then, maybe Pa wouldn't be mad and Jasper's visit wouldn't be so bad. It sure was confusing to be Blue. He was so sure in Tucson that having Jasper here would be a good idea, but now, he wasn't so sure. Before he could ask Uncle Buck to come into the house with him, he'd disappeared into the bunkhouse. He had many questions that he wanted to ask, but was still a bit worried that Pa would be mad. Taking a deep breath, he started walking toward the house again.

When Blue got into the house, he found that he needn't have worried. As he reached the front door, he heard John tell Victoria that he was happy Jasper had come because they had much to catch up on. When John saw Blue, he asked him to sit down with them. Blue sat on the stone hearth so that he didn't get dirt all over Victoria's furniture and waited for John to speak. He didn't have long to wait.

"Son, how did you find Jasper?"

"Well, Pa, I didn't find him. He found me. He called out my name right there on the street. I didn't know who he was until he told me. He said he came all this way hopin'to find me." Blue wanted to ask Pa about his and Ma's early relationship, but decided it might not be wise to bring that subject up just yet.

John looked perplexed. "I wonder why he was looking for you?"

They all turned at the sound of Jasper clearing his throat. He stood on the steps looking amused.

Victoria was the first to speak. "Mr. Daniels, won't you join us for a glass of lemonade? I trust that you found your room to be acceptable."

Jasper approached the chair nearest the steps. "That sounds very nice, Mrs Cannon and yes, the room is just fine."

"Oh, please call me Victoria. After all, it sounds like we are family. Do sit down and have a glass of lemonade." She held the glass out toward him.

Jasper took the glass and sat down. He sipped at the lemonade and pronounced it the best he'd had in a long time.

John had sat down beside Victoria and was waiting for Jasper to tell them more about why he was there. Losing patience, he initiated the conversation. "Jasper, what made you decide to find us?"

Jasper looked thoughtful. "Well, I thought as long as I was out here, I'd try to find you. I was told in town that some member of the family came there at least once a week for supplies. I figured I'd just wait. I didn't have to wait very long until Billy appeared."

"How did you recognize him?"

Jasper let out a small laugh. "Well, to be honest with you, I had a young man named Ronnie at the hotel looking out for one of you to show up. He told me that Billy had arrived and I went down to find him when he walked by. I couldn't believe my luck."

Victoria held out a plate of cookies toward Jasper. "But, Blue said you were looking for him."

Jasper chose two cookies from the plate, which Victoria set back down on the table. "Oh, well, of course. I was looking for him, John, Buck - any of the family. As I told John, the older I get, the more important it is to keep up with family."

John turned to Blue, who was munching cookies. "Jasper would like for you to show him around the ranch. I thought it would be a good idea. What do you think?"

"Sure! I'd like to show Jasper around." He looked at Jasper, "I know some good views that might be what you need for your books."

As the family caught up on old times, Jasper decided that his plan was working out pretty well so far.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

John had come to this spot by Annalee's grave to think. Reminiscing with Jasper over dinner had brought back memories that he thought he'd hidden well enough. Jasper had only been on the ranch for a few hours and John was enjoying his visit, but he didn't enjoy dredging up the past. Some memories were pleasant, but others were better off left in their own time. Sitting there in the cool evening shadows was usually peaceful and he was free to let his mind wander over the day's activities. This evening, his jumbled thoughts were of Annalee. Sometimes he could feel her gentle spirit there, giving him a subtle kick when he needed it; but her memories were usually no more intrusive than she had been. She probably never realized how much she influenced him even in her quiet way. He knew he could be difficult and stubborn at times and she never seemed to let it bother her.

His demanding personality came from having a father who had big expectations for his children. John always met his father's expectations while Buck fought back by being wild and impulsive, just opposite to what their father had wanted. John tended to be the same type of father to Blue, expecting the boy to be mature and thoughtful. And then there was Buck who liked to show Blue the more fun side of life by taking him fishing and allowing him to make his own mistakes then helping him out of his jams.

Annalee doted on her only child. She showered him with love and nurtured the gentle spirit that he inherited from her. There was nothing she wouldn't do for him. John felt the same way, but wanted Blue to be a strong man. During the war, John had seen too many young men sent into battle who shouldn't have been there. They were boys sent to do a man's job. He was determined that his son would grow tough enough to face whatever this uncivilized territory presented him with. There were times that John was a bit jealous of the closeness he saw between Blue and Buck. He often wondered what it might be like to have such a bond with his son. They used to be close but life tended to get in the way.

"John? Everthin' alright? You mad cuz' Blue Boy brought Jasper to High Chaparral?"

John looked up in surprise, suddenly realizing that Buck was standing next to him. He'd stayed at the bunkhouse after moving his things there. "Oh, Buck. I must have been daydreaming again. Is there a problem?"

"No John, I ain't got a problem. I was jist wonderin' if you do. If I'da been a A-patch, I coulda killed ya' before you paid me any mind. Are you alright? I was jist comin' from the bunkhouse and saw you standin' here lookin' worried."

"I'm fine Buck. According to the telegraph Blue brought back, the army wants as many cattle as I can deliver next month. I'll make the final counts and send them word." Needing to share his thoughts, John continued, "Our cousin's visit brought back some memories. I was just sitting here thinking about them."

"I thought we'd never see Jasper Daniels again. Any idea why he come all the way to Tucson?"

"He's here to draw pictures he can take back east to sell. He hit it off with Blue and wanted to see us while he was in the territory. He wants to stay for two weeks and I don't want you starting any trouble."

Buck did his best to look indignant. "Start trouble? Me? Why I never start no trouble, John. You know that I never git involved in trouble unless it comes lookin' fer me. You gonna' throw him out?"

"No, I think he's here to stay for two weeks. Blue seems to be enjoying his visit."

Buck noted the worry lines on John's face and sat down next to his brother. "Blue Boy is havin' them nightmares again. I heard him cry out the other night. I wish we could figure out what's causin' em."

"So do I, Buck. The last time there was a visitor in the house that reminded him of Annalee, Blue had those same dreams. It's not Jasper, the nightmares started before he came. I wish Blue could get past this. I know he misses Annalee, but I don't know what to do about it."

"Well, John, you know that our boy was prob'ly closer to his ma than anybody else, but it's been long enough that the nightmares shoulda' got out of his head by now. Why ya' reckon he's still havin' 'em?

John picked up a stick and twisted it in his fingers until it broke, then twisted it some more. "I wondered about that too, Buck. He talks to you more than he does to anybody else. Has he said anything about the nightmares?" Buck shrugged his shoulders so John went on. "I went to his room one night when I heard him calling out, but he just apologized for waking me. I'd be the last person he'd talk to about this." John tossed the pieces of the stick into a hole he'd dug into the sand with the heel of his boot and picked up another one to break into bits.

Buck pondered for a short time then responded, "I went to his room one night and tried to find out what it was about too, but as soon as he woke up and realized I was there, he just got quiet. Any ideas about what we can do?"

"Even Victoria tried talking to him. She says he's all wound up inside and won't let anybody help him. Maybe if we ask Jasper to talk to him since they get along so well, he can figure out what's wrong."

"But John, are you sure you want Jasper around here for two weeks? You and Jasper was rivals for Annie Lee's affections. Besides, it might make Blue's nightmares worse."

"Yeah, Buck. I thought about all that. What happened between Jasper and me is in the past. Annalee's gone now, so why can't Blue get to know our cousin? And, you know how Victoria likes company. Jasper's been in Boston and has some entertaining stories that's she's already begging him to tell."

"Alright, John. I'll try to get Blue to talk too. We never had no trouble talkin' before."

"That might not be a bad idea. You always did have a way of talking to him that made him open up more."

Slapping John on the knee and rising, Buck said, "I'll do what I kin, John. Now, let's go see if Victoria has any pie left. I smelled it bakin' this mornin' and it's been on my mind all day. Pedro's cookin' is passable, but he don't make no pies." John grinned and stood to follow Buck. His brother's appetite never took a back seat to anything.

As the brothers walked toward the house, the discussion turned to ranch matters, but their minds were not totally free of the burden they had just shared.


	9. Chapter 9

The Meeting - Chapter 9

Blue showed Jasper all of his favorite places on the ranch and held up his end of their bargain by showing Jasper his drawings. Jasper was pleased with them, offering just a few pointers. Blue had to keep up with his work too, since Pa couldn't spare him for long. Jasper had made quick sketches as he was shown the sights and he would work on finishing them while Blue was working.

A few days into Jasper's visit, Blue and Buck were to ride out early to repair a fence that had been knocked down. Blue hated to be away from Jasper for such a long day but Pa gave the orders. "C'mon Uncle Buck! I wanna' get there while it's still today!" Blue had saddled their horses and packed the supplies they'd need onto a pack horse; and was sitting on Soapy waiting impatiently on Uncle Buck. He was anxious to get going before Pa found something else they needed to do before they left, but Buck was running late, as usual.

"Awright Blue Boy! Keep yer' shirt on and stop yellin'! You ain't too big to fit over my knee!" Buck came through the front door still dressing and trying to hold onto a bag of biscuits. He approached his horse and started muttering about Blue having no respect for his elders. Blue grinned at the normalcy of this morning. He'd had a rough night again, but was ready to get going so he didn't fall asleep where he sat.

Finally on his horse, Buck turned to Blue with his usual prompt. "Well, whatchya' waitin' for Blue Boy? We're tradin' daylight fer dark jist settin' here!

Blue rolled his eyes, turned his horse, and with a last wave to Victoria, followed Buck out the front gate, trailing the pack horse behind them. It would be a long ride, but Blue always enjoyed his time with his favorite uncle. Buck could be cantankerous but was as lovable as they come. He drank too much and caroused with saloon girls, but there wasn't a better uncle in the world. Blue couldn't remember any situation where his uncle had disappointed him. He might have embarrassed Blue on occasion, but never failed to help Blue pick up the pieces when he got his pride crushed or his heart broken. He protected him from Pa's temper sometimes too. In some ways, having an uncle was better than having a brother.

They had gone several miles in silence when Uncle Buck launched into one of his made-up songs. It sounded like 'Buffalo Gals' and didn't make much sense, but Blue found his uncle's voice soothing. It almost took his mind off his troubles.

"Blue? Are ya' listenin' or am I talkin' to myself?" Blue hadn't realized how far his mind had wandered.

"What? I'm sorry Uncle Buck. I didn't sleep much last night. I guess I'm tired."

Buck edged his horse closer to Blue's and put his hand out to rest on Blue's shoulder. Giving the shoulder a squeeze, he said, "Yeah, I know you didn't sleep much. Somethin' botherin' ya'? You can tell me Blue Boy. You're my favorite nephew and there ain't much I wouldn't do for ya'. Maybe I kin help."

Blue twisted on his reins and chewed at his hat string. Telling Uncle Buck what was going on might make him feel better, but Blue wasn't sure he understood it himself.

Tired of waiting, he scowled and said, "Well, if you ain't the talkin'est fella' this mornin'. I've had better conversations with Ole Rebel here". Then he put both hands back on Rebel's reins and moved the horse ahead of Soapy.

Blue was quiet for a few more minutes, then decided he'd try to explain what he was feeling. Uncle Buck could be a good listener and he had a big heart. Blue could tell him just about anything and not fear being called a boy. Pa called him Boy as if he was six years old, but when Uncle Buck called him Boy, it was just like when he called Sam or Joe, Boy. Blue pulled back on his reins and Soapy and the other horse stopped. "Uncle Buck? Can we stop and talk for a few minutes?

Buck, who had been several horse-lengths ahead of Blue, turned Rebel back and came to a stop next to Soapy. "Sure. Let's find a shady place to set and have some food while we talk." They had eaten less than two hours ago, but Buck's appetite was never satisfied.

A few trees provided enough shade for the two men and their horses. They dismounted and sat on a rock that was still cool. Buck got out a biscuit, took a bite, and praised the "good cook brother John married", then offered Blue a biscuit. Blue shook his head and smiled, and wondered how he got so lucky as to have Buck for an uncle. "Well, Blue Boy, what's on your mind?"

Blue started lining up small rocks with the toe of his boot making Buck realize how Blue wore out his boots so fast. "Uncle Buck, you ever wonder what it would be like to live somewhere else? Maybe even with another Ma and Pa?"

Buck stopped chewing on his biscuit and stared at the young man beside him. He wondered what he was supposed to say. As usual, something just blurted out, "What chya' mean? What would you want to do that for? Ain't ya' happy at High Chaparral?"

Blue thought maybe it was a bad idea to talk to Uncle Buck after all. "Nevermind. It was just a stupid question." Blue started to get back up when Buck put his hand out to stop him.

"Now, jist hold on a minute there Blue. You jist surprised me, that's all. Tell me about it."

Blue sat back down on the rock and went back to scuffing the toe of his boot on the sand, making little holes and pushing rocks around. "Well, it's just that Jasper showed me photographs of his daughters and told me about Boston. Then he told me that he was engaged to Ma. Well, I just wondered what it would have been like if Ma had married Jasper and I grew up in Boston."

Buck still wasn't sure what to say but that hadn't stopped him before. "Well, now Blue Boy, I expect everybody has them kinda' thoughts from time to time. My pappy and me didn't get along too good and I thought about runnin' away a lot. If it hadn't been for your Pa, I reckon I woulda' too. Our Pa loved us but he didn't put up with no shenanigans. His strop was always ready to tan the hide that didn't please him. I got it more'n John, but John got his share. John grew up to be the man our Pa wanted, all respectable and hard-workin'; but after a while, I gave up tryin'. I was purty shore I was never gonna' be like John. Yeah, there was times I wished I'd lived with a family that had a Pa that spent more time fishin' with his boys and less time yellin' at 'em; or that Ma woulda' lived longer. She was a lot like your ma. She worked hard, but was sweet and a real fine cook, and was always willin' to show us that she loved us. She was easy to talk to. I could tell her anything and she seemed to understand. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint her."

Blue listened to Buck's words and stopped pushing the sand and rocks around with his foot. He hadn't realized that his grandfather was so much like his Pa. "Uncle Buck, do you think Ma would be alive if I had stayed at the house that night?"

Buck stared at the young man's troubled face and answered, "Blue, some things happen the way they are supposed to happen. If the A-pach' hadn't been where they was and she had lived, it mighta' meant that one of us would die. Do you think she would want that? It would be in her nature to sacrifice for one of us, especially you, and not t'other way 'round. I don't believe there is anything you coulda' done that night to prevent what happened to your ma. Is that what keeps you up at night?"

In a quiet voice, and still staring at his boot toe, Blue simply muttered, "Maybe Ma and me shoulda' stayed in Kansas."

Buck was having trouble accepting Blue's present state of mind. He placed his finger under the boy's chin and pushed his face upward so they were face-to-face again. "Blue, it goes back to what I was sayin'. Things happen the way they do. There ain't nothin' we can do about it and God don't mean for us to beat ourselves up about it. Your ma had a mind of her own and she wanted to go where John was. You know she missed him during all them years when John was out with posses and over to the war. She wasn't about to let him go off again without her if she could help it."

Buck searched the young man's face for any sign that he was understanding what he was saying. Letting go of Blue's chin, he asked, "Feel any better?"

"I guess so. Uncle Buck?"

"Yes Blue?"

"Was you there when Pa met Ma? Do you remember Jasper Daniels bein' with Ma?"

"Yes, I do remember your Pa bein' smitten with your Ma that first time. She was engaged and he was a gentleman, but I could tell that they was taken with each other. The minute John was introduced to her, he just looked different. I didn't think anybody noticed but me. You know your Pa ain't one to show his affections."

"Jasper said he noticed that Pa was taken with Ma at that first meeting too. He said he could tell that Ma liked Pa too. Why do you think she married Pa instead of Jasper?"

Buck laughed as he replied, "Now Blue Boy, if we could figure out how a person's heart makes them kinda' decisions, we could get rich playin' matchmaker for folks. Hadn't we best git movin' again? It's still a long way to that fence needin' fixed."

"Sure Uncle Buck. Did you save me a biscuit?" Reaching for the bag, Blue found that there were a few left. He broke one in half and split it between Soapy and the pack horse, then took another from the bag and put it into his mouth. As he chewed, he put some water into his hat for the pack horse and then poured some into his hand for Soapy to wash down the biscuit. After the pack horse was done with the water, he picked up his hat, slapped it on his leg to shake off the water and dust clinging to it, and put it back on his head. He felt a little better after talking to Uncle Buck. Maybe the nightmares would go away. He sure could use a full night's sleep.

The two men mounted their horses and headed for their assignment, this time engaged in easy banter and occasional songs that sounded a lot like 'Buffalo Gals'.

_**Author's note: Please review. Your reviews encourage writers to keep submitting their stories. The website software counts visitors but it doesn't tell us how long you visited or if you liked what you read. If you like what you read, please tell us so and we'll keep writing it. Thanks!**_


	10. Chapter 10

The Meeting - Chapter 10

Victoria was an excellent hostess and her cooking could rival Annalee's, although her meals had a definite Spanish flair where Annalee's cooking was traditionally more in keeping with her mid-west upbringing. Jasper enjoyed himself and had found plenty of inspiration for pictures that would fill many books when he returned home. The grand cactus, and the chaparral that motivated Annalee to name the ranch after them, were as spectacular as she described in her letters. There were varieties of birds and lizards that didn't exist in Boston and herds of wild horses. His case was full of sketches that would be used for novels and brochures for years. He had also sketched the human inhabitants of the ranch. Some had posed willingly and others were drawn in secret. Jasper promised that none of the human sketches would be used in publications, but would just serve as remembrances of his visit.

Blue had spent as much time with Jasper as he could between his ranch chores. The young man worked hard and had learned to expect little in return for his labor except more work to do. The more Jasper got to know him, the more he grew to love Annalee's son. He was anxious to get back home to his family, but would miss Arizona. He could be content to live here, but couldn't imagine his wife and daughters adapting to desert living. The very idea of his Boston-born ladies in their elegant dresses at High Chaparral made him laugh. The idea of getting Blue to accompany him back to Boston, on the other hand, made him smile with pride.

One evening when Blue and his uncles were on night herd, Jasper was enjoying an evening with John and Victoria. They sat in the living room sipping coffee and talking. It had been a wonderful day. Victoria had graciously discussed her heritage with him and told him of growing up in the privileged class in Mexico and traveling to Europe for schooling. She was very intelligent and could articulate her experiences just as well as any of the novelists he had met. He encouraged her to write a book, but she politely refused, saying that she couldn't imagine anyone being interested in her story, but she did allow him to make several sketches of her. He let her keep the one of her choosing.

When the conversation came around to Blue, Jasper asked about the nights he heard Blue call out. Victoria told him that Blue had those occasionally and they thought they were related to the death of his mother. "He has rested more easily since Buck talked with him. We believe he felt responsible for Annalee's death and Buck was able to convince him otherwise."

John, who'd sat listening, saw the concern on Jasper's face and offered more explanation. "Blue's always been sensitive and was lost when Annalee died. We shouldn't have been surprised when he blamed himself. I wallowed in my own grief right after her death and should have realized that he needed help. They were very close."

Jasper was relieved to hear that Blue's nightmares were over. He hoped they wouldn't return. "Yes, I could tell from the way Blue talked about Annalee that they were very close."

Victoria asked about what John was like when Jasper knew him in Kansas. Jasper responded that John hadn't really changed much. "John was the same as he is now – private and serious, with a brother who did his best to change that. Buck would get into trouble and draw John in with him. I bet they both remember the Foster brothers." Both of them turned to John who was blushing at the mention of the boys who beat up Buck for talking to their sister. "I bet the Foster brothers still remember the Cannon brothers too. John whipped both of them and was going to take on their Pa when my own father stepped in to stop it. That's probably why Buck is so tough nowadays. He had to fight his own battles when John was no longer there to help him out. Annalee told me that Buck actually settled down somewhat after becoming an uncle, so what you see now is tame compared to what he used to be like." Jasper changed the subject quickly and hoped that John didn't realize that he'd just told them Annalee had kept in touch against John's wishes. "My youngest also has a way of finding trouble, but has no brother to help her out of her scuffles."

Jasper chanced a quick glance at John and realized that his cheeks held plenty of color and his blue eyes were coldly staring at him, confirming that he had caught Jasper's slip. Before Jasper could say anything, John asked him if Annalee had been writing him. Jasper hesitated only briefly then forged ahead. "Yes, we kept in touch through our cousin, Becky. Remember her? She and Robert have six children now. The eldest daughter just got married. I tease Becky that she will be a grandmother before you know it, but she says she can't be a grandmother with an infant of her own in her arms." Jasper realized that he was rambling but was trying real hard to avoid becoming the target of John's temper. The last time was enough for him. "Becky's sister, Alice, has twelve children. Can you imagine having that many? She also has three grandchildren now. At least she did according to the last letter I got from her and that's been about two months."

Victoria replied that she would like to have children but God had not blessed them yet. She smiled when she said, "I would be very grateful for just one, but would enjoy a house full of them. Although, taking care of the ranch hands is almost like having children, but not the same either."

That's when John spoke up again. "How did you and Annalee get letters back and forth without my knowing? Did your wife know you were writing to an ex-fiancee who happened to be married?" That statement got Victoria's attention. "You did not tell me you were once engaged to my husband's first wife."

He could hear the agitation in John's voice, "Jasper, I think we have some things to talk about. Let's step into the study and have a drink." As the two men walked to the study, neither saw Victoria give the sign of the cross and say a prayer that angels of peace would find their way to the study to keep watch over them.


	11. Chapter 11

The Meeting - Chapter 11

The study was a small room that contained a heavy wooden desk and two matching chairs. The desk was neatly kept with ledger books and papers in stacks. Jasper knew John to be a highly organized person who probably kept this room in perfect order without Victoria's help. Jasper also couldn't help but notice that John was working his hands, balling them into fists and releasing the fist over and over, in that motion he remembered from so long ago.

John went to a cabinet and got out a bottle, poured two drinks and handed one to Jasper. "Jasper, how often did you and Annalee write to each other? Tell me why you stayed in touch with my wife after I told you to stay away when you left Kansas. I would have thought that Annalee would have known better even if you forgot your manners."

"John, we were friends from the time we were small children. We wrote letters and kept each other up-to-date on our lives. I don't see anything wrong with it. My wife knew it and reminded me about events she wanted me to tell Annalee about. They were good friends even though they never met in person."

"Jasper, you knew I didn't want you near Annalee. Why would I want you writing to her? Why couldn't you just mind your own business?"

"John, you know I loved Annalee. We would have been married if you hadn't come along."

"Is that why you are so interested in my son? Why did you really come here? I'm beginning to wonder if what you've told us is the real truth."

"Oh John, I see so much of Annalee in Billy. He's a fine young man and she was very proud of him. I just wanted to see him for myself. The last time I saw him was when he was three years old and she asked me not to come back. She didn't want to upset you."

John reflected back to happy times when Annalee looked so serene as she sang a lullaby or rocked a cradle. Mother and son shared a bond that would never be broken. "He was the center of her world. She wanted a house full of children, but it wasn't meant to be. As it was, she put all her time and attention into spoiling the one she did have."

"Well, I would call Billy anything but spoiled. I see the way he works and the way he goes to great lengths to make you proud. I would gladly claim him as my own son."

The look he received from John was making him question his motivation in coming to Arizona.

Jasper took a deep breath and decided that his best option was to just say what he needed to say. "I think there's something you should know. I went to visit my family after you and Annalee married. I didn't think it could hurt anything if I visited Annalee too. I begged her to leave you and come to Boston with me." Seeing the look of irritation on John's face made Jasper forget tact. "The fact is, John, there is a good chance that Billy could be mine."

Jasper didn't see the fist until it was too late. The next thing he saw was drops of blood, spilled whiskey, and a shattered glass on the floor that he was about to fall onto. John was yelling at him to explain exactly what he meant by that remark.

Jasper, still crumpled in the floor, reached up and felt the split on his lip and the blood on his mouth; barely noticing the broken glass embedded in his hand. "John, let me explain. It wasn't something that was planned. It just happened."

The big fist reached out again and pulled him up by his collar. He landed in a chair that felt very hard and cold. "Alright. Why don't you try to explain why you would tell such lies about my dead wife in my own house!"

"John, please wait until you hear the whole story before you pass judgment." John gestured for him to go on. Jasper removed a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at the blood on his lip and hand. "The year before Billy was born, you went on a manhunt with a posse and were gone for months. My father had passed away and I was home getting his affairs in order when I heard that Annalee was alone. I went to see if I could help her with anything. She was grateful for some help around the farm and even happier to have company. We worked together as friends for about two weeks. One day, she received word that you had gone missing and they feared that you were dead. She was grieving and begged me to stay with her because she didn't want to be alone. I stayed with her for two weeks more. During that time, we became much more than friends. Then she got word that you had been found and were on your way home. If you hadn't come back, she was going to go back to Boston with me."

"I don't believe you. She would never…" John couldn't even say the words.

"She loved me and we would have been happy together, but she loved you more. I pleaded with her to leave you, but she asked me to leave and not return. She loved you."

"You're a liar! Even if I did believe your story, that doesn't mean for sure that Blue isn't my son."

"That's right. We can't be certain. I had hoped to see some physical feature or birth mark that would tell me for sure that he's mine, but he just looks too much like Annalee. The fact that we're cousins doesn't help much either. Do you ever wonder why he's the only child you had with two wives?"

John had sat down and was staring at a ledger that suddenly made no sense to him. Would Annalee be unfaithful to him? If she did, would she hide the fact that she didn't know whether their son belonged to him? Would John be able to look at Blue the same way or would this always be at the back of his mind?

In a much quieter voice, John asked the questions that were burning the back of his brain. "Why did you tell me this now? If you thought you had a son, why wouldn't you claim him sooner? What would you get out of it now? Is it money? Do I have to pay you to not tell Blue this pack of lies?" John was trying hard to dismiss this man's claims.

"I didn't intend to tell you at all. Annalee told me what she suspected but she wanted me to stay away and for you never to find out what we'd done. I stayed away as long as I could and then the opportunity arose for me to come out here. I just wanted to meet Billy and see him for myself. He was very small when I saw him last. Annalee wrote me about him as he was growing up. She was very proud of him. She knew that he could be mine, but she didn't want to hurt you because she loved you. She also saw how much you and Buck loved the boy. We believed it was best to not say anything."

John stood up and started that fist-making gesture again, making Jasper cower into his chair. "It's convenient that you come here after Annalee is no longer here to call you the liar you are. Why should I believe you? What do you have to gain by ruining her good name? It's hard for me to believe that she would compromise her belief in our marriage for someone like you." Jasper could see John's anger building as he towered over him. John said, accusingly, "Did you force your affections on her?"


	12. Chapter 12

The Meeting - Chapter 12

Jasper was indignant. "Certainly not! John, she was a compassionate woman who cared deeply for others. She spent her life taking care of people and when she thought you were dead, she was afraid to be alone. I could never stand to see her sad. I loved her too much for that. Of course I wanted more than friendship, but knew that I had no right. When she came to me seeking comfort, I wasn't man enough to resist. I had loved her for far too long. If she had gone back to Boston with me, I would have done my best to give her everything she wanted. If that makes me a bad man, then I gladly accept that, but I can't regret what we had, even knowing that I came in second to you. And, if that young man is my son, I thank God that I could give his mother something that made her so happy and that she raised him within a strong marriage, even if it wasn't with me. She made me realize that staying away was the best thing I could do for both of them. My only regret is that my curiosity got the better of me and I've told you something that I promised her I wouldn't."

"I should kill you, Jasper. No one would ever find your carcass."

"I know you could physically do it, but the man that Annalee chose to spend her life with would never commit a cold-blooded murder. Besides, would you want to risk Billy finding out what you had done? I'll never tell him anything if that's what you're worried about. I would never hurt him like that. He worships you and Buck and he appears to be happy here. Telling him about my suspicions would serve no purpose. As far as he is concerned, I'm here to visit family."

John's face was full of pain and a steely determination to find a way to prove Jasper wrong. He spoke with a stiff jaw, "I think it's time for you to go back to Boston. You've seen everything there is to see in Arizona. If you ever speak of this to anybody else, I'll find you and show you how a rancher protects his family."

"I understand. I will be ready to leave tomorrow morning. May Billy accompany me to town when he's rested after riding night herd?"

John's jaw muscles were visibly working just as his fists were tensing up until his nails bit into his calloused palms. "I'll accompany you there myself just to be sure you actually get on the stage and leave. I don't want you to have any further contact with MY son."

"John, won't he think it's strange that I'm leaving so suddenly?"

"Not if he's told that you got an important message from your publisher requesting that you come back to Boston as soon as possible. I'll take care of the rest."

"Alright. I'll say goodnight then."

"Jasper?"

"Yes John?"

"Be ready at daybreak."

"Yes John."

Victoria had gone to bed, so Jasper walked in silence to his own room to pack his possessions. He wondered if it would be appropriate to leave Billy a note, but knew that John would find it and throw it away. Jasper just wanted Billy to know that he was proud of him.


	13. Chapter 13

The Meeting - Chapter 13

John and Jasper were both sleep-deprived the next morning, each having had a fitful night's sleep. They traveled in almost total silence. The sound of the horses' hooves on the solid ground and an occasional jingle of the reins and squeak of the buggy's springs were the only sounds on the trail. John's horse, tied to the back of the buggy, walked slowly and easily behind. Jasper tried to keep his mind occupied by quickly sketching plants that had bloomed after last night's rare rain. He hoped that Billy was warm and dry last night, but didn't voice his concern to John. He didn't want to make this trip any worse than it already was.

As they approached town, John stopped the wagon and drew in a deep breath. Trying hard to find the right words, he twisted at the reins and stared at the toes of his boots. This was unusual for John. He usually found his voice easily and, according to Buck, could put the fear of God into anyone within two miles. This was different. He was not used to dealing with issues of the heart. Oh, he had a heart, just not on his sleeve. "Jasper, before you go, I just wanted to say that I appreciate that you didn't say anything to Blue. If things are as you say, it would be hard to keep the secret. Annalee was a good wife and mother. She was a strong woman, but she only came here because I did. I moved her from our well-established community and all of her friends to a wild and dangerous new territory. I was responsible for her getting killed. I would understand if you hated me for that. I would even understand if you hated me so much that you would try to turn Blue against me. I'm not saying that I believe your story, but Blue might have."

"John, I told you I would never do that. I can't break his heart by making him doubt the family that he loves so much. Annalee came here because she loved you unquestioningly. I volunteered to step aside even knowing that she may have had my son and I stand by that decision. I met Billy and he's everything his mother said he was and he appears to be happy for now. I don't want to ruin that for him. Just promise me that if he decides to visit Boston, you won't stand in his way. I would take very good care of him – as any cousin would."

John wasn't ready to commit to anything where it came to considering that Blue could be another man's son. He simply replied, "I'll think about it."

"Please do. Billy knows how to contact me if he so chooses. I'll let that be his decision."

John slapped the reins and the wagon continued toward town, the conversation over at that point.

After making sure that Jasper was on the afternoon stage headed back east, John stayed in Tucson overnight to take care of some business. He started back to High Chaparral at daybreak with quite a bit weighing on his mind and his heart. His memories took him back to the day Blue was born. It broke his heart to see Annalee in such pain but she was the happiest he'd ever seen her when Blue finally arrived. Buck handled the baby like he would break and announced to John that "He ain't no bigger'n the buttons on yer coat, Big John!" To which Annalee replied, "He'll grow, Buck. You'll see." Buck still called Blue 'Buttons' at times. He remembered caring for a feverish little boy so Annalee could get some rest after being up with him all night. The way the little boy felt in his arms was comforting. The first fish Blue caught lit up the little face and warmed the corners of John's heart. He remembered the little boy who cried when he left for war and how much he had grown when he returned. John felt a sudden wave of nausea and pulled his horse to a stop. He managed to dismount just in time for his stomach to empty itself in the sand.

John figured it must have been something he'd had for breakfast, then remembered that he hadn't been hungry, so he hadn't eaten anything yet. He'd never been sick with worry before. Even in the war, he could think his way out of a predicament with a minimum of damage to his men and equipment. But, it was matters of the heart that stumped him. Could he look at Blue without giving away what he knew? Would he treat him the same way? What if Blue found out somehow? While he doubted that Blue could ever hate Annalee, would he believe Jasper's story? Would he hate John? Would he leave High Chaparral and go to Boston to be with Jasper? John felt his stomach churn again and the last of the contents went out onto the ground. Then he realized that he had tears slowly flowing down his cheeks. He thought how lucky he was that no one was there to see the big strong rancher melting into a puddle right there in the desert. He took hold of the horse's reins and led him to a shady spot where he could sit and get himself together. Taking a canteen from the saddle and the bandana from around his neck, he sat down in the shade, poured water over the bandana and wiped his face with it.

John sat for a while and waited for the nausea to abate. His thoughts eventually went back to that day that Annalee told him she was with child. They had waited and hoped for a child and weren't sure they would ever have one. Could Jasper be right in thinking that John couldn't have children? Did it really make any difference? John didn't want anyone to know of his shame, but concluded that he should tell Buck Jasper's story. Buck was always better at handling these types of things, particularly when they involved his only nephew. Finding his emotions and his stomach once again under control, John got back up onto his horse and headed home.

Once back inside the main compound, John led his horse to the corral, where he removed the saddle and bridle and turned him loose in the corral. Then he took the saddle and bridle to the cool, dark tack room. He was startled by a movement as he hung his saddle in its usual place in the darkened room, and realized the subject of his thoughts was standing nearby.

Blue had been repairing a broken strap on his saddle just the way Sam had taught him. He heard a horse and stood to look out the window to see Pa ride up to the corral and knew that he would come into the tack room. He hoped to talk to Pa to find out why Jasper left. He greeted him with a, "HiPa."

"Hello Blue. I didn't realize you were in here." John carefully hung the bridle on the peg and turned back to where Blue had sat back down on the bench continuing his work on the saddle.

"I finished the adobe repairs and it was gettin' too hot outside to do much else, so I came in here after lunch to work on the saddle."

John's eyes were becoming accustomed to the low light conditions, so he walked closer to check the mending on the saddle and said, "That looks like a good repair."

"Thanks, Pa. How was the trip?"

"Oh, it was fine. I got everything done that I needed to do."

"That's good." Blue could tell Pa was a bit distracted and pondered his next words. "Pa? Why did Jasper leave so fast?"

"Didn't Victoria tell you that he got word from his publisher that he was needed back in Boston?" John was surprised at how easily the lie rolled off his tongue.

"Yeah, but I can't believe he had to leave so fast that he couldn't say goodbye. He didn't even leave a note." John hadn't thought about how much Blue might miss Jasper.

"Well, he decided that he needed to be on the next stage. He didn't have time to wait. He said you knew how to contact him."

"Yeah, but it's not the same. Did he give you any messages for me?"

John felt his stomach churning again. "Blue, would you excuse me? It's been a long trip and I'm not feeling well."

"Oh. Sure Pa. Maybe we can talk later?"

John replied, "Sure." Then, he left the tack room just in time to vomit again. By the time he got into the house, he was quite pale.

Victoria took one look at her husband and knew something was wrong. "John, what is wrong? Are you ill?"

John hated to worry Victoria. She would want to help, then would have a fit when he refused. He decided that the best path would be to let her think something he ate had made him sick and let her mother him with her special tea and a cool cloth on his forehead. Things would start looking better when he'd had a chance to share his burden with Buck. For now, he was happy to go to his room and rest.


	14. Chapter 14

The Meeting - Chapter 14

After the supper that John hardly touched, John asked Buck to walk with him. Buck thought that was unusual but agreed to go. When Blue asked to go along, John thought of another chore to keep him busy. He really needed to talk with Buck in private. The last thing he wanted was for Blue to hear about Jasper's suspicions. Blue was finally sleeping all night again and hadn't had a nightmare in over a week. The talk with Buck had eased his mind. He looked healthier and more rested than he had in a while. John wanted to keep it that way.

The two men walked together chatting about ranch business until they were out of earshot of family and ranch hands. When they reached a knoll where John liked to admire the sunset, he stopped Buck with a hand on his arm and took a deep breath. Looking out at the sunset casting color over the desert, John gathered up his courage and spoke about something he would rather have never known. "Buck, I didn't bring you out here to discuss the ranch. It's about Blue."

Buck responded, "Well John, I didn't figure you wanted to talk about the ranch. If it was just ranch talk you woulda' done that at the house and woulda' let Blue Boy join in. I figured it's about Blue or you wouldna' come all the way out here. Does it have somethin' to do with Jasper leavin' so fast?"

John took another deep breath and chose his words carefully. "Jasper told me something the last night he was here that has me worried and I hoped you would be able to help me make sense of it."

"Well, that musta' been some news to have you so worried. What is it John? You ain't been yourself today and you didn't eat no supper."

"Buck, do you ever wonder why Blue doesn't look like me or that there were no other children for Annalee and me?"

"Well, I think Blue Boy looks like his ol' Uncle Buck and favors his mama quite a bit and lots of folks only have one child. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. It ain't for us to ask why God gives some folks a house full of young'ns and some got one or two and some ain't got none at all. What does this strange mood of your'n have to do with what Jasper told you and him leavin' so fast?"

"I'm trying to tell you if you'd just shut up and let me!" John was not so sure this was a good idea, but kept going anyway. "I suppose the best way to say it is to just say it. Jasper told me that Blue could be his son." Having the words finally out in the open, John's shoulders dropped and he waited for Buck to say something.

Buck wasn't sure what he'd heard, but it couldn't be what he thought. Surely the boy he thought of as practically his own had to be who they thought he was. To think that they'd raised him as a Cannon for over twenty years and some other man would step up and claim him just like that. Buck was having none of it. "John, that boy is ours – yours and mine. Can't nobody take him away from us. Jasper's lyin'. Ain't no way Annalee would do that to you. He didn't tell Blue this made-up story, did he? If he ain't, want me to git rid of him 'fore he does?"

John could see the emotions slipping across his brother's face, from disbelief to anger, then fear, then back to anger again. Good old Buck always stood up for John, whether he needed it or not. He was grateful for that support right now because this was the worst thing he'd ever faced. This was the worst thing that either of them had faced. It was hard to imagine Buck as anything but "Uncle Buck", the title he'd worn with pride since Blue was born. John had an urge to hug his brother, but Buck would think he'd gone completely loco. He put his big hand on his brother's shoulder. "Jasper said he would never say anything to Blue. He only told me to get it off his chest. I found out that he and Annalee had kept in touch all these years."

"But, how? When did they…?" Buck didn't finish the thoughts because he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. He knew how babies were made, but this was his brother's wife. She was a fine lady who took care of everybody. It would be like trying to imagine his own mother in such a manner and that wasn't proper. "Big John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, but it just don't make no sense."

"I know. I've thought of nothing else since last night. Remember the year before Blue was born when we both went with the posse after the Denton gang? We were gone for three months."

"Yeah, I remember that. We spent all them weeks huntin' them rascals and you got separated from the rest of us. Word got back to Annalee that you was thought dead. It took us better'n a week to get word to her that you was okay. I remember how relieved she was when we got back home."

"Well, that's supposed to be when it happened. Jasper said that after she heard I was dead, she was going to marry him and go to Boston. When she got word that I was coming home, she asked Jasper not to say anything about what happened between them. She sent him back to Boston but kept in touch through his cousin Becky."

"That don't mean that you ain't Blue's Pa."

"That's what I told Jasper. I don't believe that Annalee had another man in our bed. If she did, and I'll never believe that she did, there is still a good chance that Blue is my son."

Buck realized that John looked tired. He'd been worrying over this for two days and was reaching his limit. He hoped that he could help him in some way. "Well, John, maybe you should try thinkin' less about provin' if he is or ain't and think about it another way. Blue ain't my son but I couldn't love him more if he was, and this ain't changin' my mind about how I feel about him. Does it change your mind about your feelins' for him?"

John stood silent as Buck's words sunk in. Maybe he had a point. If Annalee had Blue before they married, he would have adopted him without hesitation. He would have loved the little boy because he loved the boy's mother. "No, it doesn't change how I feel about him. But what if he finds out and it changes how he feels about me?"

"Aw, John, I don't think Blue's gonna' leave us. I think he loves us as much as we love him."

"That's what Jasper said."

"I don't know why he had to tell you this hogwash in the first place. I don't think it's true. Annie-Lee didn't have no eyes for anybody but you. She mighta' thought you was dead, but I still don't think that would make her let another man into her bed unless she was forced. She wasn't forced, was she?"

"He says not, but I don't think a man would tell the truth if he was guilty of something like that."

"Most men wouldn't, I reckon. You ain't gonna' tell Blue, are ya'?

"No. I don't know if it's true, and if it is, there's no point in worrying him. You agree?"

"Yeah, I think you're right. Blue ought'n ta' have to worry over this too. You been worryin' enough for all of us. If you don't want him knowin' sumthin's wrong, you gotta' pull yourself together brother."

"I know Buck, but it's not easy to do. Jasper said Annalee kept the secret because she loved me. I wish she'd been here to tell me it's a lie. My heart says it's a lie, but my head says it's possible. I know she was a strong woman, but we were gone for three months. She might have lost hope that I'd come back."

Buck thought about this. He supposed that it was possible for Annalee to get so lonely that she would take comfort in the arms of another man. Any way he looked at it, he had a nephew that he would give his life for. Did he really want to question it? The hardest thing was going to be getting John to realize that Blue was the same boy they had both been committed to raising since birth. Whatever happened in the past two days was irrelevant as far as Buck was concerned.

"John? Why don't we set a spell and talk like we used to do. You got a lot to chew on and I think it might give us a chance to put our minds at ease." Buck took a seat on a rock and gestured at the rock beside him. John sat leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped before him. Buck took the same posture as he thought some more.

They sat in silence for a while watching the sunset until John finally broke the silence. "What happens if I don't tell Blue and he finds out some other way? Do you think he'd go to Boston? But, what do you think he would do if I told him now?"

"John, I already told you that boy loves you. He tries hard to do everything the way you want him to. He'd only go away if you wanted him to. All you gotta' do is ask him to stay."

"Buck, you know how hard it is for me to talk about things like this. I could lose the ranch and it wouldn't hurt this much because I'd know you and blue would be here with me helping to start over. He was the main reason we came out here. I wanted to build something special for him."

"I hear ya' brother John. It wouldn't be the same if he wasn't here. I know you would trade the ranch if you thought it would save him from a broken heart. Ain't that what a man oughta' feel for his son?"

John looked at Buck with amusement. "You should have met a nice woman and had a house full of children. You would be a good father."

Buck returned John's smile. "I'm just happy to be Uncle Buck. I don't think any nice woman coulda' put up with my bad habits and I'm too stubborn to change. This way I got to help raise the young'n, get to eat good, and didn't have to get married. But, if by some chance a woman managed to get stuck with me, I'd try to be a Pa just as good as my big brother is."

"Thanks Buck. I don't give you enough credit for the things you do for me, and for Blue. I know he depends on you to talk to. He was closer to Annalee than to anyone else and he sure misses her."

"Awe, Big John. You know that if I wasn't here, you'd figure out what Blue needs. Course, each of you is about as stubborn as the other. Sometimes, that gets in the way of your thinkin'. That's when Ol' Uncle Buck tries to make sure you hear each other over all the yellin'."

John looked out at the sunset again. "Annalee warned me over and over that I could lose Blue if I didn't learn how to show him love and understanding. I wonder if she thought that Jasper would show up one day to try to take him away?"

"John, I think you're lookin' fer somethin' that mightn't be there at all. I don't remember any doubt in Annie-Lee's eyes the day Blue was born. You was the one she chose to be Blue's Pa and I never seen you prouder. I woulda' swore you was gonna' bust the buttons clean offa' yer shirt. That's the first time I seen ya' cry too. Ya' didn't cry at our pa's funeral, but I seen ya' cry when that tiny little baby was placed in yer arms. I swear Blue is the only person on this earth that can get that heart-felt a reaction from ya', 'cept maybe Victoria."

"For a tough old cowboy, you sure have a way of looking into a person's soul. Did you ever think about being a preacher?" The slight twinkle in John's eyes gave away the humor in that statement and made Buck laugh.

Buck put his arm across his brother's broad shoulders. It wasn't easy because John was a few inches taller than Buck, even sitting down. "Why John, I believe you must be delirious with fever makin' such crazy talk. Ol' Uncle Buck a preacher. I ain't heard nothin' so crazy in a long time. Now what are we gonna' do about Blue?"

John stood and walked back to the edge of the knoll with his hands balling into fists and relaxing again in that way he had when he was thinking. Buck had seen Blue do the same thing when he was agitated. Nobody was going to tell Buck that John and Blue weren't father and son. Now, if Blue never found out any different, everybody would be happy.

"We're going to pray that we never see Jasper Daniels again, Buck."

_**I left this one open-ended just to shed some doubt on Blue's parentage. It's ripe for a sequel (J**_**asper returns? Blue goes to Boston?) but I don't have a plan for it yet. Review and let me know if you think there should be a sequel. **


End file.
